I have a friend (no really, it's not me) who is in the midst of a romantic conundrum. She has someone who she dated for about 4 years, and last year he told her essentially that it wasn't going to work, that he couldn't "love her consistently", whatever that means.
Now, isn't it easy for us to sit and say, "Well, it didn't work out, too bad, move on"? This is no dummy we're talking about here -- she's a super woman, very smart, witty, aware, attractive... if she didn't live 1500 miles away... well, let's not go there... LOL
But she has gone out with this guy to dinner, the theater, etc. in the last few months, and feels "maybe" vibes. Even though he's seeing someone else. Again, isn't it easy for us looking in to say "for God's sake, wake up!" But no, she wants to try and see if the vibes are for real. Sounds nuts, right?
Wellllll, not so fast. Number one, I try hard (and sometimes fail) not to judge people for the simple reason that I am not them. I don't know everything that went in to her feeling the way she does. Number two, haven't we all done something like this or something similar? I know I have pined after a "lost love" that was one-way. and tried to extend it beyond all reason.
That's it. "reason". Who is truly "reasonable" in matters of the heart?
As much as we hate to see friends hurting, we can't really prevent it, can we? All we can do is try to make a point here or there to maybe get our friend to see what we see, and to be there with a hug, a shoulder, and some chocolate when shit goes down. Because the time will come when we're going to do something stupid that our friends warned us about, and the last thing we need is "I told you so!"
--Curt
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2 comments:
If only there were a magic cure for women hooking up with losers, even when they tell us flat-out that they aren't interested in anything long-term.
Sigh.
My ex did that to me. We weren't a 'couple' as far as he was concerned, we were just 'hanging out'. For 2 years. lol.
She will figure it out. But even the smartest of women get fooled by the dumbest of men. Funny how that works.
Glad to say that she's found closure with this guy. I don't know that he was conciously stringing her along, but maybe she read things that weren't there. We pick up vibes that aren't necessarily there when we want them to be there, don't we?
Or I may be full of shit. Wouldn't be the first or last time LOL...
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