In Memoriam

George Carlin (1937-2008) -- wow, who the hell thought he'd make 71 in the first place???

George was my first comedian. My brothers had the "Class Clown" album and the "Take-offs and Put-ons" album, and I ate them up. Yes, at 6 and 7 years old, I had them memorized (which explains a lot). There are still entire Carlin routines floating around my head, ready to spew forth at the drop of a hat.

There were three titans of stand-up from that era (not to slight anyone else, but these three stood a little higher than the rest); George Carlin, Bill Cosby, and Richard Pryor. It's a gross oversimplification, but I think that George's comedy came from the brain, Cosby's from the heart, and Richard's from the gut. They were all incredibly funny, and all had elements of the others, but that's my take on it.

Yes, George got a little less funny, and a lot more pissed off later on, especially in the early 80's. But anyone who used their brain was pissed off in the early 80's.

George Carlin was the first to get me into thinking about words, and how they're used. Even the "Seven words you can't say on television" bit was about the words themselves, not the shock value of just saying them. George was the funniest pedant I've ever heard, and put me well on my way.

So farewell, George. Well done. You made a lot of people laugh, and a lot of people think, and that's not a bad combination.

Or a bad epitaph.

Again, sorry about yesterday's pity party. It would be very easy to delete it, because self-pity is not particularly attractive.

But there are two ways to view a blog. One is to say "Hey, I want to put my best foot forward, this is like a job interview for the world, I don't want to embarrass myself." The other is to say "This is me -- warts and all."

Therefore, because one of my mantras is "authenticity in all things", I've decided to leave it up. I am what I am, and not all of it is attractive.

I've already had a cigarette today.

Dammit.

Throes of nic-fittery

Yep, I'm trying to quit smoking.

25 years of 2 packs a day, on average, is very difficult to stop.

Why? 1) I can't afford it, money-wise. 2 packs a day is about $250 a month, and with my monetary cushion gone, I can't really do that anymore. 2) Self-image. I badly need to lose weight, just to feel better about myself, and I can't really exercise when I can't FUCKING BREATHE!!

This has been going on for 8 days now, and while I haven't been able to stay completely off the wagon, I haven't had more than 5 in a day. This can be considered progress, but it still royally pisses me off that I haven't the willpower to just say "I no longer smoke".

There's kind of a vicious circle, when you have a low self-image. The circle goes
1) "I really suck."
2) "Maybe I wouldn't suck so much if I lost weight and stopped smoking, so I wouldn't be so hideous looking and smelling."
3) "That's too much effort to throw into someone who sucks so much."
4) "I really suck."

You know what else sucks? Nicotine fits. And pity parties.

Sorry about this pity party.

take care,
Curt