Intimacy

This morning, I came across the incredibly gorgeous woman who lives upstairs from me... She was out walking her dog, in a t-shirt and sweats, her hair all mussed up. But she still looked great. (Granted, she would look great in a burlap sack, but I digress.)

This got me to thinking... My first thought was that "Women don't understand that they don't need to get all dolled up for men to think they look good." While that's true to a large extent, my next thought hit the spot for me.

Love, to me, is connected with intimacy. And I definitely have issues with intimacy. It's difficult for me to allow someone inside enough for that. Sex comes close, but sex, to me, is as much about fun as about intimacy. I find that I have held back some of myself even during sex.

The next thought was, that true intimacy is when you wake up next to someone in the morning, with bed-head, morning breath, maybe a little drool... and you still spend time snuggling. And you realize that this person loves you even when you look your worst. They still find you desirable, and worth loving. What an amazing feeling that is.

I do enjoy being single, but I badly miss that feeling. No matter how angry or bitter I may get toward my ex-wife, I will always be a little grateful to her for allowing me that feeling. I refuse to let all the crap totally eliminate that good memory. It will never come back with her, there is far too much that has gone between us for that, but she did show me that it was possible.

So thanks Paige for the feeling, and thanks Ashley for reminding me of it.

Take care,
Curt